The 1 Stoic Insight to Transform How You React to Daily Challenges
Learn to see beyond illusions, question your judgments, and live a life of reason.
There’s a huge difference between knowing that caffeine wakes you up and actually having a coffee. Think about modern Stoicism in the same way. Sure, we all know that we must focus on what we can control, blah, blah, blah, duh, right? But the reality is, you're not really drinking the coffee.
The Greeks had words for this: episteme is knowing stuff, and praxis is putting that knowledge into practice.
Being good at something is hard. Think about learning a musical instrument for example. First, you have to learn the basics – the notes, the chords, how to hold the instrument.
Then, you practice a lot, a whole very daily lot. Over time, with consistent effort, you start to make music. And after years of dedication, you can finally express yourself fully through the instrument.
This is what pisses me off about modern Stoicism. We all make it seem as if reading a few quotes from Marcus Aurelius will change your life. But no, man, you have to sweat. Just like exercise, it hurts at first but feels good afterward.
Just like learning to play the guitar, you need to understand and apply the basics of philosophy to really master the art of living.
Stoicism is pretty popular these days, and a lot of people have the "weights" of knowledge but do not use them. Epictetus put it perfectly:
"If you aim to be perfect when you are still anxious and apprehensive, how have you made progress? So let’s see some evidence of it. But no, it’s as if I were to say to an athlete, ‘Show me your shoulders,’ and he responded with, ‘Have a look at my weights.’ ‘Get out of here with you and your gigantic weights!’ I’d say, ‘What I want to see isn’t the weights but how you’ve profited from using them.’"
You see, it's not enough to just know things. You have to actually do the work. I’ve noticed that to really learn something, you have to focus on one basic thing at a time, like a G chord, play it enough until you play it without realizing it. So it is with Stoicism. Let’s focus on one thing at a time. In this article, it will be your capacity to decide what things are going to be for you.
Understanding Stoic Judgments: Seeing Beyond the Illusion
Now, how about we start with something basic? Let’s start with our opinions.
An ancient Greek saying holds that we are tormented not by things themselves but by the opinions that we have of them. It would be a great victory for the relief of our miserable human condition if that claim could be proven always and everywhere true. For if evils have no means of entering us except through the judgments we make of them, it would then seem to be in our power to dismiss them or turn them to good.
Montaigne, That the Taste of Good and Evil Things Depends in Large Part on the Opinion We Have of Them (1580)
We often think we react directly to events around us, but that's an illusion. In reality, we react to our judgments and opinions about those events – our thoughts, not the events themselves. These judgments are like invisible glasses we wear, shaping how we see everything without even realizing it.
Imagine you’re wearing a pair of tinted sunglasses, and everything you see is colored by that tint. You might forget you’re wearing them because they’ve been on for so long. That’s how our judgments work. Events come to us through these lenses, and our reactions are based on the tint, not the actual event.
Real-Life Example: Dealing with Rude Behavior
Let’s take a more detailed example. Imagine you see someone cutting in line at the coffee shop. Most people might feel annoyed or angry, but they often stay silent, swallowing their anger and cursing the person internally. This is a perfect situation to practice your reason and question your beliefs.
First, ask yourself: Is what this person doing wrong? If your answer is yes, then consider whether you should say something. Maybe the person didn’t realize they were cutting. If they’re still being inconsiderate after you’ve pointed it out, you need to ask yourself: Is this situation bad enough to let it affect my mood? Is it worth escalating to a physical confrontation?
Here’s where the Stoic practice comes in.
The greatest victory is to remain undisturbed by this event. Change your belief within yourself to something more accurate. If you were dealing with a grown-up, you might get angry because the person is doing something clearly wrong. But most of the time, when people do stuff like this, they’re just being immature. You have to see that in your head.
As your opinion changes, so will your anger. It’s hard to get angry with a child because they are ignorant; they don’t know any better. Approach it with this mindset: understand that their behavior is likely due to immaturity or ignorance. Sometimes, standing up for what’s right might lead to a confrontation, but the key is to do it from a place of reason, not anger.
After all, we’re all here in this world, and as human beings, we’re armed with the incredible gift of reason. We need to make a habit of being reasonable and encouraging others to do the same.
Introducing Belief Systems: Questioning Your Opinions
Our judgments stem from our belief systems – the set of opinions and assumptions we hold about the world. Recognizing that these beliefs are not absolute truths, but just opinions, allows us to question and refine them. This is a core practice of Stoicism.
For instance, if you believe that people must always be considerate, any rude behavior might feel like a personal attack. But if you challenge this belief and accept that people have different levels of awareness and consideration, you won’t take their actions as personally. This mindset shift helps you respond more calmly and rationally.
Understanding that we react to our judgments, not to events themselves, is a powerful Stoic insight. By becoming aware of and questioning our beliefs, we can choose our reactions more wisely. Next time you find yourself reacting strongly to something, pause and ask yourself, “What judgment am I making here?” Challenge it, and you might find your whole perspective shifting.
Stoicism isn’t just a way to understand the workings of the mind; it’s a practice. Unlike some other philosophical traditions, Stoicism is about taking action, not just theorizing. This means taking more responsibility for your thinking and treating how you talk to yourself as a choice.
If distress is caused by our thoughts about things rather than by the things themselves, we should try dropping those harmful thoughts and choosing better ones.
As Ward Farnsworth puts it in The Practicing Stoic,
“If we view the idea of this chapter in that way, it is an instruction to take more responsibility than usual for one’s thinking – to treat how we talk to ourselves as a choice.” This is the essence of Stoic practice: actively working to improve our inner dialogue and our reactions to the world.”
Pick up the weights, train your mind, and get bloody ripped.
Thanks for reading.
Ricardo Guada